What a Game

The Aeros lost tonight. They played good during the first period, but didn’t bother to show up for the other two periods. It was quite sad.

I did see a friend of mine, Michelle, which had moved to North Carolina a while back. She was here for the holidays and heads back this Saturday. She had a very big surprise for me…she’s five months pregnant! I’m so happy for her. Her due date is April 3rd.

My friend Belinda also surprised me at the game. She was there with her friend Cindy. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to talk with Belinda, but I did get to talk briefly to Cindy before the start of the third period. I just wished the game would have turned out better for them.

Maybe That's Why I'm Screwed-Up!

This past Thursday, my mom and stepdad went to the hockey game with Lori and me. One of the first things my mom says to me when I meet them there is “You need to apologize to your sister”. “Of course I do” is all I could say…because it didn’t surprise me at all that she said that. That’s what she always tells me.

When we finally get to our seats, I pull out my signs to set on the empty seats in front of us. As I was getting them out, my mom asked what they were and I told her, and asked if she wanted to hold one. “Are you going to embarrass me?” she asked. I was somewhat shocked that she said that, but I didn’t miss a beat. I replied, “Probably so since I tend to be an embarrassment to everyone.” Folks, it only got worse.

I was told that Christmas Eve dinner would be at 6:00pm. So, I arrive at my parents’ house at 5:58pm. My stepdad was outside and said that I was late for dinner, but they save some for me. I walked in the house, and the Christmas gifts are already sorted out and they are sitting around waiting for me to open them. I looked at mom and said, “You told me dinner was going to be at 6:00”. All she could say is “Well…” Then, she asked if I wanted to eat first and then open the gifts. Since everyone was already sitting around with their packages, I told them I would eat after the gifts were opened. I didn’t want to cause any more inconveniences. I am surprised they waiting for me to do that, since they didn’t bother to wait for me to eat dinner. I should have just stuck with my first plan of not going over there at all that night, but I was trying to make everyone happy. After the gifts were opened, I went and ate the food that was left for me. There is nothing like microwaved turkey and dressing for a nice Christmas Eve dinner.

As I’m getting ready to leave, my mom asks me if I was to take some leftover lasagna home. She had some extra from the other night. I told her I would, so she starts searching her cabinets and can’t find a container to put the lasagna into. I asked her if I could just take it home in the container it was already in, which was a ceramic bowl with a glass lid. She told me that she didn’t want it to get broken. Hello?!?! Why did she assume that I would break it?

So, after the events of Thursday and Friday nights, it doesn’t surprise me it at all that I’m completely screwed up in the head.

Merry Christmas to Me!

The best Christmas gift I got this year…courtesy of my sister, Lori. It is just awesome!

Finally…some good news!

I finally got a job interview next Friday with UTMB! I sure hope I’m able to get the job. I’m tired of being unemployed!

Congrats to the Morgans!

Congratulations to my best friend Christine and her family! Their house was a runner-up in the “Season Greetings from 93Q” best decorated house contest! To see pictures of the decorations, go here.

Maybe I should try this

Check out today's Dilbert:

Yes, I failed…again.

Okay, here’s what’s been going on in my life lately. Once you read it, you’ll probably realize why I have been less than enthusiastic to blog about it.

Since I no longer have health insurance, I can’t afford my medicine. So I have been trying to wean myself off my Effexor. It’s not a medicine you can abruptly stop. I was taking 150 mg. pills three times a day, and now I’m down to just taking one pill a day. I expected that I would experience some side effects from decreasing the dosage, but I wasn’t sure what. Well, it messed up my coordination more than anything. I’m already a klutz, but it was a lot worst during the first part of last week. I went to pour myself a glass of milk, and completely missed the glass. This didn’t happen just once, but twice. I was tripping over my own feet every time I tried to walk. It was terrible. Fortunately, the side effects started to wear off. I don’t know if they will return again once I complete stop the medicine. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell my family that I won’t be spending Christmas Eve with them. Instead, I’m going to spend it with my best friend, Christine, and her family. I want to be with a group that isn’t going to make me feel worse then I already do.

I have a grandmother who has no problems telling me about my physical problems. I have a sister who, I feel, is embarrassed to be seen with me and doesn’t think twice about berating me in front of other people. I can’t say anything to her about it because it will upset her. When she gets upset with me, I can expect a call from my mom telling me that I need to call my sister and apologize. In my mom’s mind, Lori can’t do anything wrong. I’m definitely the black sheep of the family.

I found out today that Lori instructed my mom never to give me cash, but to take me grocery shopping instead. And, since Lori said that, my mom deems it to be true. It all came about today after I told my mom I only had $10 cash left out of the $40 she gave me last week. I bought some groceries with it, but then I paid $30 to have a booth at a local craft show to sell my jewelry. I only made $10, which means I lost $20 being in the craft show. Yes, I know I failed at making a profit. I think my family expects me to fail, so they shouldn’t be surprised by this.

With the continue decrease in my depression medication, the crying spells and suicide thoughts are becoming more frequent, if not common. But, I don’t want anyone to worry me. If I truly feel like I’m becoming a danger to myself, I have my doctor’s phone number posted by my phone so I can call him. If it comes to the point when I do have to be put in a “safe place”, then I’ll go.

Thank you, Erik!!

Tonight’s Aeros game was just awesome!

Erik Reitz got his first goal of the season and was the number one star of the game. I was so happy for him.

I know I haven’t blogged in a while. A lot has been going on, but I don’t feel like blogging about it tonight. I’m too busy enjoying Erik’s big night.

MASH Quiz

Missing Snake

Ariel brought in another snake last night. I tried to get a picture of her with it, but she ran off as soon as she saw the camera. So I was only able to get a picture of the snake.

I went to get a broom and dustpan to get rid of it. When I returned, the snake was no where to be found. I don’t know if it was still alive or not. I’m assuming that somewhere in my bedroom is the missing snake.

Better

I’m feeling better tonight. I got a call from Audra and chatting with her really helped me. I appreciate her so much!

She was talking about her computer’s system crashing…which reminded me of this cartoon:

My head is going to explode!

I call the unemployment’s telephone service today, only to find out that my unemployment payments have been discontinued, even though I paid the “overpayment” they made to me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not ready to call my sister or mom yet because they will probably have tons of questions and I don’t have any answers for them.

I feel like I’m at a dead-end. I’ve got some much crap going on inside of my head, I feel like it’s going to explode. On top of all this, I’ve got a friend that thinks I’m embarrassed to be seen with him, which isn’t true. I just don’t have the patience to deal with this stuff right now.

I did email a special friend of mine for some words of encouragement. Of course, he came through for me like he always does. I really appreciated it. I just wish I had more answers.

Extreme Makeover – Grocery Edition

I know that’s not a real show, but I felt like that was the show I was on Saturday when my mom and sister showed up at my place with all these groceries. It was so nice of them to do that for me. God bless them!

Thanks, Belinda!

Here's a wonderful drawing that my friend, Belinda, did of me:

It can get even better!

This is so cool! I found out that Candace Bergen has joined the cast “Boston Legal.” I loved watching her on Murphy Brown. The show is just getting better and better.

Apologies to Dr. Swell

A person posted a great comment and used the name of Dr.Swell. A friend of mine thought is was a spam comment and deleted it. Actually, it was a pretty interesting comment about my eye swelling and that sensitivity to MSG may be the cause of it.

I did find some interesting web sites on the subject:

http://allergies.about.com/cs/msg/a/aa022100a.htm

http://www.truthinlabeling.org/

Caution!

When I “sorta” drove through a ditch on Sunday night, I was telling Belinda about some of my other recent antics. She said I need to have caution signs around me. I proved that to be true again today.

I was excited when the weather got cool enough last night that I was able to use my fireplace for the first time! I’m sure many of you are shivering at the thought of this right now. I actually did pretty good last night…but today was a different story. I was attempting to rearrange the fireplace logs, and one fell off the wood-poker-thing kind of hard. This resulting in bits of burning wood flying out of the fireplace and all over my living room. I was rushing around to put out as many as I could, but there are still a lot of burn marks on my carpet. Oh well, just another day in my life.