Happy 40th Birthday, JZ!

Yesterday was a 40th birthday party for Jennifer. She’s the wife Michael, whom I worked with at Schlumberger. They are both awesome people. Her birthday is actually today, so we helped her celebrate the last day of her 30’s. It was held at this cool place called JP Hops House. It was open mic night, so we were entertained with some good music and poetry.

When I responded to the evite that I would attend, I didn’t realize we had an Aeros game that same evening. Since my friend Belinda and I were going to ride to Jennifer’s party together, I asked her if she wanted to attend the Aeros game with me and Lori. That way, we were able to go straight to the party after the game. The game was a little longer than usual due to the large number of fights. We were playing a team that is always in last place. Since they don’t have any hockey talent, they try to fight.

The important thing is that the Aeros won and we had a great time at the party.

I’m a freak of nature!

At least I looked like one last Friday.

I woke up and my bottom lip was swollen to twice its normal size. That was quite a surprise. I figured it was a cold sore so I put Abreva on it and waited for it to return to its normal size. I also had this swelling under my left eye. It’s happened before, but I still have no idea what causes it. Throughout the day, gravity pulls the swelling down, so it doesn’t look too obvious.

So, after taking in my deformed face, I went to the restroom. As I went to sit down on the toilet, I bumped into the doorknob. It caught me below my right eyebrow. I put ice on it fairly quickly, so that helped keep the swelling done. It was still sore and I looked like I was wearing purple eye shadow on just my right eye.

There was an Aeros game that night. Fortunately, my lip swelling was almost completely gone as well as the swelling under my left eye. Of course, the bruise from my run-in with the doorknob was still there. So, I had to wear plenty of makeup to cover it up. I can’t remember that last time I wore so much make-up.

I had fun at the game although the Aeros lost. But, it’s still early in the season.

The Abyss

It’s been another week in hell.

I got a letter from the Texas Workforce Commission. It seems that they overpaid me during the week of November 6th. So, until I can pay them back $245, I will not get any further unemployment checks.

Since there wasn’t much I was going to be able to do crap about that this week, I decided to head to my grandmother’s house in San Antonio. I was going to leave on Wednesday to be there for Thanksgiving. That was a big mistake. I was just getting my luggage in the door when my grandmother told me that I had gained too much weight and there was no way I would be able to get a job looking like that. Wasn’t that nice of her.

My apartment complex management office left a message for me so I called them on Wednesday morning. Since I only paid a part of my November rent, they were changing the locks on my apartment at 10:00am that morning. I packed up and drove back to Alvin to pay the rest of the rent so I could have access to my apartment. As I was loading my car, my grandmother was just nagging the crap out of me. She informed me that as soon as I get all the stuff straightened out, we were going to have a talk…and it would start with me losing weight. Is this all she could notice about me? I know I have gained weight, and I’m not happy about it. But I do have some bigger issues I’m trying to deal with right now.

I spent Thanksgiving at the apartment only, with hardly any food. I didn’t want to fight the crowds at the grocery store. I knew they would be packed with people getting last minute items for their Thanksgiving feasts. I really started to regret it as the day went on because I was getting really, really hungry. I will definitely be going to the grocery store early tomorrow.

So, that’s been it for me. As soon as I think I hit rock bottom, something pulls the floor out from under me and I found out that there is no rock bottom. I’m just trapped in an abyss!

Julie’s Television Law

In my opinion, there are two shows that should not be messed with. The shows are Smallville and Boston Legal.

I love football just as much as most people, but when it screws up one of my shows, I tend to get a little irked.

Fortunately, I was up late enough to catch Boston Legal. It was suppose to come on at 12:30am, but didn’t start until 1:00am. It was worth the wait. I just love that show!

Watch Out - I'm Venting!

Lately, I feel like I have been driving at 5 MPH will the rest of the world is going 70 MPH. I found out that this past Friday was the last day for one of the ladies that worked at the cafeteria at Schlumberger. There was a gathering at some bar after work, and no one told me about it. I guess it’s true what they say…out of sight, out of mind. But, I did find out that the person who ended up getting my job was there. In fact, she told a friend of mine that they should go out some time. WTF? She already got my job, now she wants my friends, too? I know I’m being petty, and the new admin has never done anything to me. It just pisses me off. I should have never been fired. It was just a rotten deal all the way around. I swear I still have a huge gash in my back from where Joe Walter put the knife. Oh yeah...I'm still waiting for my expense check from them.

Since I’m getting things off my chest, I’m going to bring up something that has been bugging me for months. Of course, I have never said anything about it, which is probably why it’s still bugging me. My best friend’s husband planned a surprise birthday party for her back in July. You would think, being her best friend, that he would have come to me to help plan it. But NOOOOOOOOO. Instead, he had some person from Alvin EMS set it all up. The only reason I found out about it was because my best friend’s mother told me about it. I wasn’t going to go to it at all for other reasons, but I did go for a little while. It just hurt my feelings that I wasn’t included. But, like I said, it was a while back so maybe I’ll get over it now that I blogged about it.

Speaking of blogging, it’s great to know that I can blog whatever the hell I want about Alvin EMS (good or bad) without having to worry about the Director calling me into his office to inform me that he doesn’t think I should be an EMS officer, much less a member. Well, he got his wish since I resigned. People may think that I resigned over something to do with the Treasurer position, but I didn’t. It was all because of the Director. Well, it was him and one other person. It’s kinda funny that several people, not just one or two, have informed me that they have tried to get the other person fired, but haven’t succeeded. But I’m outta there, so I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

The Texas EMS conference starts next week. This will be the first time in six years that I didn’t go it. It feels weird. If anything, I’m going to miss drinking at the
Ivory Kat the most.

Still hanging in there

I feel like I’m doing better. I guess blogging about everything really did help. Thank you to everyone for you kind comments! I feel so blessed to have such angels around me.

Where is the edge of sanity?

I think I passed it already. It’s been 3 months since I have had a job. I really thought I would have had one by now, but I don’t. I didn’t even get my first interview opportunity until 2 months after my release from Schlumberger. Then, much to my dismay, I discovered that I had my phone number wrong on my resume. That explained why the only two interviews I got were ones from companies that emailed me.

I wasn’t really upset about it at the time since a new job opportunity had just opened up around that same time with at the company where my friend Jackie works. I figured everything happened for a reason and thought I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. A few days later, I found out that I didn’t get the job. I was devastated and realized that the light that I saw was no where in sight. My depression was getting worse by the day.

Also, during this time, an unemployment check I had mailed to my bank (via USPS Priority Mail with Delivery Confirmation) got lost. This caused so many problems, including $120 in NSF fees. I had to call various creditors and explain the situation to them. Then, I had to call the Texas Unemployment Commission to have them put a “stop payment” on the lost check and reissue a new check. I didn’t get the reissued check until today. My financial situation is looking so grim. Often times, I worry about how I’m ever going to catch up. As much as I hate to admit this, and I really do, I even contemplated suicide as my only option to escape. Many people may be surprised by this, because I haven’t even told my closest friends about this. I just don’t want people to worry about me. I try to be a strong person, and by admitting my thoughts, I feel like I’m weak.

Of course, when I revealed this to my psychiatrist last week, he asked if I needed to be put into a “safe place”. I reassured him that I did not need that. In fact, the last thing I need is to be put into a mental hospital without having medical insurance so I could rack up more bills. Yea…that makes since.

I made the mistake of telling all this to my sister last night and I shouldn’t have done that. She ended up relaying this to my mom, who immediately called me. She tried to convince me that I needed to move back home. There is no way in hell I could do that. If I did, then I would definitely go insane and need to be locked up.

So, I’m still searching for answers for what I’m going to do. Hopefully, by opening myself up and revealing all this, I will start to feel better.

I don’t want anyone to worry about me, so please don’t. I just appreciate the fact that people actually read my blog!

It's Up

It's not the best in the world and still has a lot of work needed, but the core of the website for my jewelry is available. You can check it out here.

Activity

I actually had some activity over the weekend. I have become such a recluse lately, I’m glad Belinda made me get out of the house. In fact, she made me get out of town! She had a surprise party for her mom in Moulton, Texas, so I drove there and back on Saturday. I also got to see my friend Gil, who I hadn’t seen in a while. He helped cheer me up with his kind words, and I am very thankful to him for that.

On Sunday, it was the Aeros game. It was only the second game of the season I have been able to attend. They lost, but at least I got to see my favorite player, Erik Reitz, play. So I was a happy camper.

Quick Update

I didn’t get the job that I interviewed for last week. But the interviewer did send me a nice email letting me know that I interviewed well.

I resigned from Alvin EMS a couple of weeks ago. It was just getting to be too much of a headache. The final straw was when I got abased by the director for talking about my blog at the EMS station. It had NOTHING to do with Alvin EMS, so I still don’t understand what the big deal was about. I was told that I could not mention anything about my web site at the EMS station. WTF is that about? So, it was adios for me; and I don’t regret it at all. Elections are coming up for officers, and there is already so much crap going on with it, I’m glad I do not have to deal with it.

I’ve lost my hard drive

Of course, I’m speaking metaphorically. I think I have lost my inner drive to do stuff.

It’s been like this for a while, but I haven’t blogged about it. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it since I don’t want people to feel like they need to pity me or try to “fix” me. What I need comes from within, and I know that. I just haven’t figured out how to rejuvenate it.

Brandon Turns 5!

My little boy is growing up! Yesterday was Brandon's 5th birthday. He's such a ham!

Another Julie Blooper

I was getting quite despondent since I hadn’t gotten any calls for job interviews and it had almost two months since I lost my job. This past Friday, I found out why. It seems that I had transposed two of the digits of my phone number on my resume. So, if someone did receive my resume and tried to call me, they got the wrong number.

I feel like such an idiot!

Happy Birthday, Greg!!

Things Change

Well, I started my new job yesterday…and I decided to quit it today.

I know that sounds bad, but it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. I couldn’t imagine wasting any more of my time or that company’s time. I figured I should just leave before too much was invested.

I do have a job interview set up for tomorrow morning! I’m not wasting any time.