One more...

Okay, as if you're not already sick to death of seeing my tongue, I had to post this picture. Dan Harvey, a guy I work with at Schlumberger, took this picture at Joe’s Crab Shack last Friday, when I was supposed to get my tongue pierced. He was excited to get the “before” picture. And that person sitting to the left of me is the elusive Aimee.

It's About Freakin' Time!

I finally got it!!!!!!!!!

Pictures!

You can thank my friend Aimee for these pictures from my tongue-piercing experience.

Third Time is a Charm!

Well, it’s done…my tongue has been pierced! The experience wasn’t bad at all. I didn’t end up going to the original place that I had planned to have it done at. I went to Sacred Heart Studios. They are so wonderful there, and highly recommend it for anyone considering any type of piercing (or tattoo).

A big thanks goes out to my friend, Aimee. She has been there for me through all three of my tongue-piercing attempts. Don’t worry…she brought her camera and has pics of me with the set of balls in my mouth. Now I can say that I am constantly sucking a pair of balls!

Xanax Rules!

I took two Xanex last night before I went to bed. I slept so well. I feel a lot better today than I did last night, which is a big relief. Today will be tongue-piercing attempt number three. The only problem now is that I didn?t know that Lori and I had tickets to this evening?s Aeros game. So, I?ll have to call Aimee later to see if we can do the piercing after the game, which ends around 7:15pm or so. I could probably do it before the game, but then I wouldn?t be able to scream as much. And, Curtis Murphy?s team is the team we are playing tonight. I?m so psyched about getting to see Curtis. That is just want I need to help me come out of this funk I have been in.

Nothing’s Alright

Friday evening started out pretty good. There was a retirement reception at Joe’s Crab Shack for Betty Manning. She’s a Schlumberger employee that is retiring effective March 31st. While I was there, I was drank numerous Tom Collins. I knew that I was going to get my tongue pierced after the reception, so I wanted to be nice and relaxed. After the reception was done, Aimee and I went to go pick up her husband, Bob. He didn’t want to miss my piercing experience. We arrive at Taurian, only to find out that they won’t piece a tongue if the person had consumed alcohol without the past 12 hours. It had something to do with the tongue swelling or something…I don’t really remember. So, we figured we would come back on Sunday. Third time is a charm, right?

So, after that, I went to the Flying Saucer where a group was getting together. I walked in, and it was so crowded. I hate crowds. People who know me well know this about me. I feel very uncomfortable and left. I know I made some people mad by doing that, but I had to.

On my way home, I was listening to a CD I had made over a year ago. One of the songs came on, Last Resort by Papa Roach, and it encompassed everything I was feeling. I never really paid much attention to the lyrics before then. I just keep playing the song over and over again, just amazed at it.

I went home and figured the feeling would pass by morning. So, I woke up Saturday and thought everything was fine. I guess I was wrong. Everything I was feeling completely intensified. On my way home from Houston, I kept playing that one song over and over again. It’s times like this I am so glad I don’t own a gun. I’m not trying to imply that I would go buy a gun just to kill myself, but I don’t know if I wouldn’t try to if I already had a gun in my house. My thoughts and feelings are just so overwhelming at times; I don’t feel like there is any other option to make them stop.

It really amazes me that I have friends that care about me. I know I do, and I don’t want them to feel like they need to remind me. It just baffles me that people can like me. I feel like I bring nothing but turmoil to their lives with all my mental issues. How can a person be friends and remotely like a person who is such a fuckin’ basketcase. It’s hard for me to comprehend.

I really wish all these feelings and emotions would just go away, but I know they won’t. People have suggested that I open up and talk about them, but I feel too ashamed to. There is no rhyme or reason to them. I don’t want others worrying about the unexplained emotions I experience. I tried to do that tonight, and, in my mind, it was a complete failure. I feel like I’m just making more commotion in their lives. It’s not fair to them…they didn’t do anything wrong.

Others have told me that I just need to build my self confidence. Well hell, if there was some simple way for me to do that, I would. I don’t like feeling like the ugliest, fattest person whenever I’m in a crowded bar. But how do I ignore that when all these drop-dead gorgeous women are walking around? I know I don’t have a chance in hell of meeting anyone that would be remotely interested in me. If they do, they will quickly find out what how mental I am and run.

Yet, others have told me that I just need to find out who I am “inside”. Fuck if I know. All I do know if that I feel like my mental diseases are getting worse as I’m getting older. I don’t want to get older if that’s what is happening. At this rate, I’m sure I’ll be institutionalized before I’m 40. That’s a scary thought.

That takes me back to what I mentioned earlier in my blog…how in the world do I have friends that care about me?

HPD Officer Killed

Police say a driver that was allegedly drunk may have caused the accident that killed HPD officer Frank Cantu. You can view the whole story here.

This is another incident to support statement #1 of my Statements to Live By.

What Type of Sex Toy are You?

Gil posted this on his site and I thought it was so cool. So, of course I copied my results and put them here for your pleasure.

Hockey Rocks!

Well, I didn’t get go get my tongue pierced yesterday. But, I did have a good reason! I went to the Aeros game, instead. Originally, I wasn’t going to go since Lori had school that night and didn’t want to miss it. Then, I found out that my cutie-patutie-hockey-player-look-a-like guy was in from our Houma, LA site. Of course, I had to go see him. He’s a big hockey fan and he was available last night for the game. So, we went to the game where I showed him off as my Curtis Murphy look-a-like guy. He is so good-natured about it. I also found out that he had played hockey for eight or nine years! I just thought that was so cool. He was a goalie.

On my way home, I called Audra. It’s also so much fun to talk to her. Of course, I was so busy talking to her, that I got lost leaving Toyota Center (I know this doesn’t surprise anyone). The weird thing is that when I realized I was lost, I told Audra. She asked me what street I was on…and I was in the area of her old house! So, she was able to direct me to I-10 to get back to 288. Thank goodness for friends that know their way around Houston!

I was so freakin’ tired at work today. To top that off, I’m EMS duty. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Tongue-Piercing Attempt, Take 1

The closer I get to 30, the more things I want to do before my actual birthday. One of those things is to get my tongue pierced. I called my friend Aimee this morning and asked if she would go with me Tuesday afternoon for moral support. She said she would so I was happy. When I got home for work today, I actually had a lot of energy. It is very unusual for me to have energy after work, especially on a Monday. So, I decided to drive into Houston and get my tongue pierced tonight. I’m on Highway 288 heading into Houston when I called Aimee and told her about the change of plans. Fortunately, she and her husband, Bob, were not busy, so they were going to meet me at Taurian. I take the wrong exit off of 59 and end up in downtown Houston, but, by some dumb luck, I was able to find my way back to Westheimer. I had to circle the block a couple of times to find a parking spot. I walk up to the place and guess what…the bastards were closed! Aimee and Bob were still ten minutes away, so I called them on her cell phone to tell them the bad news. Here’s our conversation:

Me:        Aimee…they’re closed.
Aimee:   Didn’t you check their hours before driving to Houston?
Me:        No…who the fuck is closed on Monday, besides my hairdresser!
Aimee:   Did you have an appointment?
Me:       I need an appointment?
Aimee:  (laughing)
Me:      Why the fuck do I need an appointment?  Can’t I just walk in and get it done.
Aimee:  I made an appointment when I got my belly button pierced. I just assumed you had one.
Me:        You know better than to assume anything with me.  Well fuck me.
Aimee: (more laughing)
Me:      Okay, I guess I’ll go back to Alvin and call tomorrow to make an appointment.

Aimee and Bob invited me to have dinner with them, but I had already eaten. I was frustrated with everything so I just headed back to Alvin. As I am going down Westheimer, I pass Sacred Heart Studios, and they were open! So I call Aimee again.

Me:        Hey, I think I just passed Sacred Heart and it’s open!
Aimee:   You want to get it done there?
Me:        Sure…I just have to get back over there.
Aimee:   Where are you?
Me:        I’m not sure…I tried to turn onto Hawthorne street, but there was a big gate there and I couldn’t get through.
Aimee:   Are you able to turn anywhere else?
Me:       It doesn’t look like it.  I’m about to enter a freeway.
Aimee:   The closest exit you’re going to be able to take is the Shepherd one.
Me:       Well fuck.
Aimee:   Do you want to still go there and get it done?
Me:       No…if I’m having this many issues just trying to find a place to have it done, maybe it wasn’t meant for me to have it done tonight.
Aimee:  (just more laughing).

I apologized to her and Bob for making them leave their house for nothing. I found out later that they went to eat at Prince’s Hamburgers, which they hadn’t been to in a while, so they were happy.

So, almost 70 miles later, I still do not have a hole in my tongue. I guess I’ll be calling tomorrow for a freakin’ appointment.

New, Improved Template

Well, I worked on it over the weekend and finally uploaded my new template today. Of course, Greg had to do some minor tweaking to it in order to make the Moveable Type work. But alas, it is up and running! The best part is that you can right-click on links!

I’m so happy!

Statements to Live By

I was talking to one of my guys at work yesterday. I was telling him about the four statements I try to live by to help prevent me from going crazy. He liked them so much, he said he was going to type them up, print it out, laminate it, and hang it in his office. Since I have a laminator, I told him I would do it for him. I even made one for my office.

I realized that they would be good to blog about. So, here they are:

God protects the drunk and the stupid. (EMS–Inspired)

Common sense is not very common.

You cannot be logical in an illogical environment.

You cannot be reasonable with unreasonable people

The last two statements were told to me by Dr. Charles Niziol. He was one of the ER doctors at Methodist Hospital in Houston where I used to work years ago. He's also an ex-Marine. Dr. Niziol, as well as all the other ER doctors I worked with, were so cool. I do miss them.

Friday Five

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve? Italian

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell? sex stuff, of course

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be? Humor of some sort

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach? I don't have the patience to teach

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it? mixture of everything

Here it is

I consider yesterday to be one of the worst days in my life. Never did I imagine that so many people would be angry and upset over something I had blogged about. I only wanted some advice. Next thing I know, I have friends cursing about other friends, people’s feelings getting hurt, people becoming increasingly irate over the whole situation. I was completely overwhelmed with everything I read. I do not remember the last time I was that upset or cried as hard as I did. I couldn’t deal with anymore at that point. I knew that if I did, I would have a breakdown. The evening ended when I took some sleeping pills just so I could go to sleep. I was asleep before 7:30pm.

Many people gave me their suggestions on how to handle it. Some wanted others to apologize; others said that I shouldn’t consider anything others said, and to top it off, one said that I was a pussy. I think most people responded with the best of intentions in mind. But it also hurt that one person read my blog one way, and then re-reads it after someone else tells them how to interpret it. When you read my blog, consider that it is written by me. If you know me, then you’ll likely interpret it correctly the first time. I cannot control what impression a person gets when he/she reads my blog.

As much as I wanted to forget about all this, I knew I needed to handle this…my way. It is about time that I started thinking for myself and not let others tell me what I need to do.

I know that I cannot make everyone happy. I know this is a fact, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. I do have a need for people to like me. This may be considered low self-esteem, but that is how I feel. I never intended for any of my friends to attack each other. I deeply love all of my friends and am grateful for them. If you are my friend, you know that I would do anything in the world for you. It really troubled me when some of my friends attacked my other friends. I felt so torn and perplexed. If I am friends with someone, then that person is probably a genuinely good individual. To say otherwise might imply that I am not wise enough to choose my friends. If you are truly a friend of mine, you will respect the people that I am friends with.

I have accepted the fact that I may lose friends over this, and might not even become friends with others whom I never met, but now have a certain image of me in their mind. I can’t change that. All I can do is be honest with everyone and myself.

Beautiful Mind

I have been meaning to blog all weekend about my adventures on Thursday and Friday nights, but my schedule hasn’t permitted it. Now that I have some time, I really can’t concentrate on blogging about that. My mind has so many thoughts racing through it right now. I’m not going to go into detail, mainly because I’m still trying to figure shit out myself. It is times like this I wish my brain had an On/Off switch so I could turn it off. How does a person control his/her own thoughts and feelings? I haven’t found a way to do so yet. If you have, please share it with me.

Friday Five

1. What was the last song you heard? Insensitive

2. What were the last two movies you saw? Miracle and Men in Black II

3. What were the last three things you purchased? 6 inch personal fan, gasoline, and food

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? party, party harder, party harder than harder, then rest.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Rory, Cheeano, Janice, Joe, Chris

Angry

I know angry isn't the best emotion to feel, but damn I'm angry! Maybe angry isn't the right word...pissed off is more like it. And it's all because of work!

Cell Phone Juggle

I ready to scream over the weekend. The new cell phone I just got would not charge. Every time I plugged it in, it would display the message “Unable to Charge”. I finally have time yesterday to contact the company I bought it from. They tell me that it’s probably just a bad battery, and not the phone. So, they would ship me a new one overnight. Well, me being the not-so-patient person I am, I went and bought a new battery. Guess what…the phone still wouldn’t charge. I guess it’s a good thing I did buy the battery, because the one I received in the mail today for the company was the wrong one.

I was starting to get a little peeved. So, I decided to leave work early today and go to the store in person. I just wanted a phone that would work! I showed up, and they were so nice and helpful. The guy helping me just kept apologizing for everything. After they tested both batteries, they had to assume that it was a problem with the phone. Well, they didn’t have any of those phone models yet, so they offered me an upgraded phone. I asked them what the cost difference would be, and they said they wouldn’t charge me anything for it. That was just too cool. And, on top of that, they gave me an extra battery for free…just in case. I was just so impressed!

Don't be jealous, Gil...Tom Collins is just a drink

I don’t understand why Gil referenced the 1930’s and Audrey Hepburn when I blogged about Tom Collins. Personally, I really like a Tom Collins with a dash of grenadine. And, since Ms. Hepburn was a very elegant lady, I will take that as a compliment.

It wasn’t until I did some research that I found this very interesting link.

Wild Weekend

This past weekend has been wild. It started off Friday night at the Aeros game. When I first arrived, I ordered a Tom Collins. None of the bartenders could remember how to make one! Since the bartender already poured vodka into the glass, I went ahead and took the vodka collins. I did educate them that the difference between a Tom Collins and a Vodka Collins was that a Tom Collins was made with gin and not vodka. I knew that vodka would fuck me up faster than anything. So, after the "fake" Tom Collins, I got two more real ones before the end of the game. After the game, I headed over to the Brewery Tap to join some others for drinking and fun. At first, I felt really out of place since the only person I knew was Gil. So, what better way to relax than to get another drink! So, I order a shot of Goldschlager. As soon as I finished my shot, I was told we were moving to another bar. So, we were off to the infamous Twelve Spot. We left there and went to Dean's. I was ready to leave because I was still feeling out of place, but Anthony convinced me to stay. I told him if he wanted me to stay, he would have to buy me a drink. He agreed and I got another shot of Goldschlager. One thing to mention is that a shot at these bars is not a small shot, but more like a double shot. I had one more shot that night before everyone started going home. I was feeling pretty fuckin' drunk by this time. I get to my car and it finally happened....I puked my guts up. I know that sounds gross, but it happens. I really can't remember the last time I drank that much to get sick. I knew I definitely couldn't drive. So, poor Gil had to drive my poor, drunk ass back to Alvin. That boy needs to get out of the city more!

The fog was so bad; I think the visibility was only 1/4 of a mile. Gil was stating "Where the fuck are you taking me?! Are you bringing me out here to kill me and dump my body somewhere?" I really do appreciate him driving me home. I guess I owe him a favor now.

The Aeros also had a game on Saturday night. I didn't want to be anywhere near alcohol after the previous night. The good news was that the Aeros won! After the game, I went straight home and to bed.

I spent most of today cleaning around the place; something that needed to be for a while. Then, it was off to the AEMS Supervisors Meeting. What a thrill that was.

Tomorrow starts off another fun-filled work week.

How Bad Do You Have It?

A fun quiz about internet obsession. I'm "average" :-)

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 46% Average@Internet-User.com (41% - 60%) You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer. The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

Friday Five

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Mrs. Pitts

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? Scooby-Doo

3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Rayna

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Clusters

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? eat

Find Your Inner Gordie

Your new Hockey Name is:

Pierre La Victoryeau

Paradox

If you could use only one word to describe yourself, what would it be?

It's all in the kiss

Cool quiz that I took on Gil's site:

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Devil Feels Chill in Hell

Okay, so maybe hell isn’t about to freeze over, but you would have thought it was. Last night, I actually attempted to play racquetball. Maybe it would be better to say that I attempted to play at racquetball. Many people know that I can’t stand any type of exercising. There is only one type of “exercise” I enjoy…and racquetball isn’t it. But, being a good friend, I decided to attempt to play it for Gil.

So I drive to the YMCA in downtown Houston and meet up with Gil. When we get the court, I was so thankful there wasn’t anyone around to watch us. So, after Gil explained the rules, I was ready to go. Well, one of the first things I did was fall flat on my face. Actually, I would have preferred to fall flat, but instead I tripped or something. I have no idea. All I do know it that my feet stopped, but the rest of my body kept moving. Of course, I jumped up, announced I was alright and ready to play. Somehow, I was able to last longer than I thought I would.

On the way back to Alvin, I realized my right knee was hurting. So I went to rub it and noticed a nice hole in my pants…from when I fell! I had no clue that I had ripped a hole in my pants and scrapped up my knee. Once I got into Alvin, I didn’t go straight home. I went straight to WalMart and bought a big-ass bottle of Advil. I knew I was going to be sore the next morning. I was already feeling pain in my knee and my right arm. I came home and looked closer at my hurt knee. Pieces of my pants were all inside the abrasive, which really sucked. Then, I also noticed the nice bruise above it.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t as sore as I thought I would be. Which is really, really cool.

The Power of Music

It?s amazing how music enhance our feelings/moods. When I was driving home on Saturday night, I turned on the radio and heard a song I had never heard before. The song just seemed to really touch me and how I was feeling at the time. I felt my eyes tearing up and everything. I have no idea why I was getting all emotional over it, but I was. One of my favorite songs of all-time is a song by Cher. Yes, I said Cher. I don?t remember how high on the charts this song got, but it just always appealed to me. I can?t explain it.